Almost 1 year...

So, about this time last year, I was really sick. Physically--with a terrible sinus cold, and mentally--preparing myself for Calder's first cleft repair surgery. Thankfully, this year I am just physically sick again...this time with strep throat. :( Much better mentally--no pending surgery, no extra stress, no sleepless nights of worrying if it will all be ok. It is a mommy's job to worry. If we don't, who will, right? But, I wish that I knew then, what I know now...that it would be hard, but we could handle it...that Calder would heal quickly, and without any complications...that life would be sweeter, and we'd be stronger for having "been there; done that".

I remember being so sad, even scared in thinking about how Calder was going to "change"--I didn't want him to be any different. I didn't want him to have a new smile, and I certainly didn't want him to remember anything he'd been through. He is not different, still the fearless BOY he has always been. His smile changes constantly...I think I see a new one every day, as he learns new things and discovers life. There are times when I desperately miss those wide smiles from our monkey. But I am so grateful for the 5 1/2 months of wide smiles we had, and if thousands of pictures aren't enough, then my memories will have to do. If HE remembers anything about his experience, he doesn't hold it against us...Calder is truly the most "happy-go-lucky" little guy I've ever met, and that is part of who he is, that is what I hope never changes.

So, in this, one of my many "crystal ball moments" I feel very blessed. Our journey isn't over, and Calder's road will have its bumps. We have learned, we have grown...and met some truly amazing people along the way. So much can happen in a year, and we will take it as it comes, one moment at a time.

Here's to you, little man...we LOVE you more than you'll ever know!!

Day 2 and some pictures

So this morning I'm recounting the past day, and then I suddenly realize that it hadn't even been a whole day...not even 24 hours since this little man was wheeled out of surgery! No wonder he was still a mess! Time seems to just poke along, less than 24 hours seems like a week of torture! We feel like we've been living in 10-15 minute increments, we have a rotation to keep this little guy happy...hold him, swing, bouncer, "non-bouncy" exersaucer, hold him, stroller, lap, floor, play with soft toys, front pack, hold him, swing...the cycle continues!

He is doing a lot better today though! Starting to see more and more of the fun little smiley man we hoped would still be there!! We are struggling a bit with feeding, just not eating very much yet because he is uncomfortable, but every little bit counts. We are drinking a little juice too, hoping to move the poop issues along, because we all know that never feels good!

I thought I'd put some pictures up, so if I have time I will write more later on! Thanks to all for the thoughts and prayers, it has truly gotten us through!

Early in the morning, Wed. starving, but still happy!

Poor little man in recovery/post-op with daddy...

Looking pretty good, sleeping at least, on the way home. This is about 3-4 hours after surgery!

This is the morning of day 2, not even 24 hours after surgery...he is already

giving a glimpse of that new smile!

After all my fears and worries, I love it just as much...but I will NEVER forget his old one!

Calder's Lip Surgery

We are almost through our first night with our new lip and nose...and this last stretch of good sleep has been 4 hours!! Pretty rough afternoon and evening though, all I want to do is take the pain and discomfort away. :(

Our day yesterday began early, as we left Murrieta around 4:00 AM to drive to San Diego. Check in was at 5:30, and Calder wasn't allowed to eat anything after midnight. We sort of expected him to fall right back to sleep once we were driving, but in typical "Jennings' kid" fashion, he stayed awake so he didn't miss anything! After talking to himself, chewing on his bunny from Grandma, and then crying for awhile, he finally slept about the last 10 min. of the drive, and then for about 30 min. after we arrived. We started the admission process, and got our "one size fits everyone but a baby", peach pj's, played in the pink padded crib/bed, and met the nurses. The doctors came to say hello, and just before 7:30, the anesthesiologist came to get the little man. Daddy was confused, and was still holding Calder, so he got lucky and walked back with them to the surgery doors, leaving mommy to pack up the things and go to the waiting room. Probably better in the long run...I didn't really have a chance to cry!

Dr. Sinow, the plastic surgeon, had given us a ballpark time of 11:00 AM, so up until then the wait was bearable. Then after 11, we started to get a little concerned...but such a meticulous surgery takes a really long time! They called for one of us to go back to recovery around noon, so I went back and got to hold him for quite awhile. They were still giving him oxygen and monitoring his vital signs, and he was very heavily sedated...so he slept on and off for about 45 min. to hour. Then they brought daddy back and we swapped. At this point, we had started to give Calder some glucose water from his bottle, which he gulped down well. So, daddy took over and went to post op to hold him, and mommy went down to the pharmacy to fill the prescriptions.

Ooops, didn't really say anything about the doctor's report yet. He spoke to Shane while I was in recovery, then came in to talk to me. The surgery itself was pretty tedious, as I mentioned before, but it went fairly well. Calder tolerated all of the anesthesia and medications fine, but they found an "unexpected" infection in his tear ducts. We have been wondering about this since his birth...he has had quite a bit of goop around his eyes on occasion, but then it will clear up for awhile. His eyes have always been really watery, and red rimmed when tired...but the doctor thinks now that there has been an infection for some time. ?? As a parent, I feel terribly guilty, but he has been to the pediatrician MULTIPLE times, and I can't remember a time when we didn't mention it, and she didn't look...needless to say, the plastic surgeon was ticked. Any infection during a surgical procedure isn't good, especially one so close to the "work area", so now we are also on heavy duty antibiotics, oral, eye drops, and drops for the ears, to prevent any of that infection from spreading. I guess this isn't the worst news we could have heard, but it was not "great" and we are now a bit more nervous about the recovery process.

So, back to post op...daddy stayed with Calder and I went to get the prescriptions filled. When I got back upstairs, the nurse was removing the IV and printing out the discharge paperwork! It was almost 3:00 by the time we actually left, but we felt like our questions had been answered, and we were as ready as we could have been to head home. Calder slept the whole way, and we were definitely glad to be home after a long day. I will continue this later, but I need to get this little man some more medicine, and see if he will take a bottle. What a journey this has been so far!!

SURGERY Date!

So, the plastic surgeon's office called today with Calder's lip surgery date. It will be March 17, so we can tell him that the leprechauns brought him his new smile...

Nervous because he will be almost 6 months old, but relieved that we have a date to look forward to. 6 more weeks to enjoy our favorite smiles and big grins, and then we will have to get used to the new ones...which I'm sure we will love just as much.

We still go in on Sat. for his 4 month well-baby check up, so I will post new stats on here this weekend! Just thought I'd share our news of the big date!