Our biggest surprise of 2009 was finding out we were pregnant! Some things are just meant to be...and God definitely had this pregnancy in our plan...even if we didn't! :) Aside from being sick pretty much ALL day long during my 1st trimester, things were great. It was very much like my first pregnancy with my daughter Caydree, who is nearly 3.
All of our doctor visits were going well, and we were able to find out at our 20 week ultrasound that we were going to be having a boy!! We couldn't have been more excited, one of each sounded just perfect. So the day after our 20 week ultrasound, I was a bit surprised to get a phone call about a follow-up the next week. The nurse explained to me that they couldn't really get a clear picture of the face or the heart. At her words, I knew immediately that there was something going on, so I started to ask her a bunch of questions...which led her to tell me that my baby boy may have a possible cleft lip and/or palate. At this point in the conversation it got a little foggy, but I'm pretty sure her next words were, "...don't worry too much, maybe it is a mistake and they really just couldn't get a good picture..." Too late, I was already swimming in a sea of worry. The shock of this lunchtime phone call, and the uncertainty of what was to come weren't really a good combo to get me through the afternoon with my 3rd graders...not to mention the whole week I would have to wait until my follow-up for more answers. So we waited, and I started my research.
Of course, we prayed the whole time that it was a "mistake", but as I spoke with my nurse practitioner the next day, I pretty much knew. Next came the slowest and most stressful week of my life. Sadness, guilt, fear, anger...they were all there, even without really knowing what was going on yet. Finally we had our appointments with the geneticist and perinatologist. The genetic counseling offered us statistics, more uncertainties, and the option of having an amniocentesis. The perinatologist gave us more answers, with a higher level ultrasound and fetal-echo, to check the heart. Yes, our little boy would be born with a bilateral cleft lip, and it did look like the palate was involved. The heart on the other hand looked fine...thank God! Everything else in the ultrasound appeared to be "normal" (a word I've almost come to hate), but they still suggested we have an amnio to rule out the countless syndromes and chromosomal disorders that are sometimes related to clefting. We had discussed this possibility before, and decided to go ahead with the amnio, as frightening as the results might be. If you know me at all, I'm a planner, so regardless of the results, I had to know so I could be prepared. The amnio itself was scary, but the 2 weeks of waiting for results were just as bad! I consumed myself with more research, preparing myself for the worst, while hoping for the best. More news via telephone...our results were in and they were all normal. Thankfully this meant that the baby should be fine, other than the clefting, and it appeared to be an isolated case, meaning that only the lip and palate were involved, and for an unknown reason.
Knowing that your child will have a birth defect is hard. Finding out that the birth defect is correctable and not life-threatening is a relief...but the realization that the road ahead will be different and more difficult than expected is still a big pill to swallow. SO, here we are, 2+ months later...
I am 31 weeks pregnant, and absolutely cannot wait for my baby boy to arrive!! I am fortunate to still be seeing my regular nurse practitioner and OBGYN, as the perinatologist doesn't need to see me for anything else. :) I am scheduled to have a nonstress test every week starting next week, because my doctor knows I'm a complete psycho about my amniotic fluid levels. Babies with cleft palates sometimes have difficulty swallowing, so that can be one of the complications during pregnancy...but so far we are looking good.
Life is unpredictable, but we are ok with that. I am also a firm believer that God only gives you as much as you can handle, so I've been trying to take that as a compliment. :) We are so fortunate to be surrounded by family and friends who are a great support system...that has already proven to be AMAZING, and I know we will be relying on all the help and prayers we can get! We will take one day at a time, and keep you all posted...
(hopefully I can keep up with this blog thing, it's kind of fun to just sit here and ramble, but I'm guessing my days are numbered!)
