The Jennings' Jabber...a few of our moments, at least...

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A year ago...

So I've been trying to write this post for about 2 weeks now, and every time I start, I give up or erase it all...I don't exactly know why I can't figure out what to say, or how to say it...

About a year ago, we found out about Calder's cleft at our 20 week ultrasound. It is crazy to remember the shock and devastation we felt, the many tears we cried, the fear, the unknown...

Now, here we are, so much of that behind us already...on a journey that we never expected would be so difficult and so wonderful all at once. We are blessed beyond belief with an amazing support system=family and friends, fabulous doctors, and the very best, most adorable little man on the planet...how could we possibly wish it to be any different?

There are so many analogies I could use, mantras that I continually fall back on when things seem hard...but this has truly been a life-changing experience. I've had a HUGE shift in perspective about a lot of things...and found strength I didn't know I had. I know that God's plans sometimes reveal themselves in ways we never expect, and I know that Calder is truly a special gift.

I hate that my precious child has to suffer through surgeries and painful recovery. I hate that later in his life he may encounter people who are cruel and ignorant. These are the things I would change.

I love that my precious child gave me 2 first smiles, one big wide one, and the new one that I can't get enough of. I love that he has made me a stronger, better, more accepting person. I love that he proves to me each and every day that he is NO DIFFERENT than any other baby. These are the things I wouldn't trade for the world.

Having a crystal ball a year ago would have been nice, but the journey to get here has been just as important. Our family has grown in many ways, and our little man has taught us more than we will ever know. I can only hope and pray that we are able to make his journey as wonderful as he has already made ours. We love you Calder!

1 comment:

  1. Well put... I could relate to several of the things you said:)

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